I am very fortunate to be in my current circumstances after experiencing bankrupt street homelessness before my recent 6-month duration hospitalization beginning with the neurosurgery emergency room and ending in the psychiatric ward after narrowly surviving a severe random act of violence resulting in my Traumatic Brain Injury (multiple skull fractures and brain bleeds), 30cm of head (including complex stellate) lacerations, and broken bones requiring casts on 3 of my limbs. I can no longer close my right hand meaning I can no longer form a grip I cannot any longer make a fist with my right hand which does have effects on my speedtyping and typo rates which is still relevant for tech and actuarial professionals. It was a totally unprovoked random early morning hammer attack similar to a carjacking gone wrong in which I was stalked for several blocks by a person slowly circling closer on a bicycle who then spontaneously erupted into relentless brutal violence beating me with a heavy metal bar while I screamed and begged for my life until a large male witness in a white pickup truck came roaring onto the scene shouting and scared the attacker off. I credit this person among so many others for saving my life on that night and thereafter.
I am approved for the DTC disability tax credit on a permanent basis for Schizoaffective Bipolar currently applying for CPPD with the help of my outpatient psychiatrist. I am happy because unlike the last time when I had an outpatient medical substitute decision maker for my Community Treatment Order form, this time I am more able to meaningfully participate in by which I mean legally self-advocate as an individual for my recovery. I have already been on short-term disability around 10 times and long-term disability at least 5 times for severe psychiatric issues over my 15 year professional career. One of my greatest concerns from a Human Rights perspective is not ever being forced to take mood stabilizers or benzodiazepines again. Especially since although many of my psychotic symptoms may have gotten worse in recent years, many of my mood symptoms may have gotten better. This could be due for example to the Chronic Binge Eating of Oral Anabolic Steroids (causing Severe Cognitive Impairments, Psychiatric and Mood Disturbances, Insomnia, and Irreversible Neurostructural Damage including dopaminergic blunting) no longer being an immediate contributing factor since 2016 which I have been repeatedly stressing to my mental and physical health professionals including during hormonal bloodwork reviews. My outpatient psychiatrist has agreed to allow me to collaboratively forensically review my entire medical record history year-by-year during our biweekly appointments.
I now have Office of the Public Guardian and Trustee for Permanent Mental Incompetence with respect to Property/Finances. According to AI, I may have experienced something similar to debt bondage and labor trafficking after having been first targeted by financial predators due to my perceived isolation vulnerability and disabilities many of which such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) were not realistically acknowledged until more recently. Other factors impacting my mental health are Binge Eating Disorder, Inattentive ADHD, Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder, and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA = Pervasive Drive for Autonomy).
I also argue that I have a condition known as Long-Term OverSedation Syndrome which is basically just brain damage from all the bad brain shrinking sleepy sleep psychiatric medication I have been required to take over the years. But I do like Invega Sustenna because when it is combined with a stimulant I believe it reduces Autistic Meltdowns and Autistic Burnouts mind you this is not (yet?) a recognized off-label application of Invega Sustenna, despite it made me gain 50 pounds (went from 160 to 210) of body weight due to its side effects of Food Cravings, and Slowed Metabolism. That’s why even if what I sometimes see as the Hallucinogenic Perceptual Syndrome caused by my previous Chronic Binge Eating large doses of the world’s most potent psilocybin magic mushrooms daily for almost 2 years clears up in say 5 years. I would still be willing to take the Invega Sustenna with a stimulant to reduce Autistic Meltdowns and Autistic Burnouts again despite this not (yet?) being a recognized off-label application of Invega Sustenna . I do not consider this to be my decision alone because it would depend on future treatment progress future treatment certainty and me tirelessly working towards and tediously reality-testing and validating any shared understanding (cognitive models also all treatment plans including the factual criteria provided in advance for motivating any/all future hospitalizations which is often unclear and/or subject to unanticipated last minute changes) with as many health care professionals as possible. It is also a goal of mine to reduce the frequency and duration of my hospitalizations because I have been an Involuntary Inpatient at least 10 times often for months at a time. Because I will refuse to work no matter how monumental the blackmail, if I feel I am being coerced into it at a medical disadvantage that would result in my failure and humiliation which has often happened in the past. But everything else considered, I do hope to one day work again. I have no specific timeframe.
One last point, for my next role if I should be so fortunate as to be healthy enough and able to find one. I am recommending to myself not to disclose Bipolar 1 Disorder to my employer which if you against my advice anyways be my guest and try it (in which case may I please receive your update?) will almost surely given its immense stigma have the undesired effect of confounding your behaviour and compounding your miseries with thankless ill-motivated red flags. Instead seeking workplace accommodations based on the Neurodevelopmental (as opposed to Severe Psychiatric) profile of Autism Spectrum Disorder and Inattentive ADHD such as “evaluated solely objectively on the work” and “this employee’s communications are often falsely misinterpreted as rude or offensive whereas in the interest of an equitable work environment supportive to neurodivergent high-performers their communications should henceforth more properly be considered as owing merely to a hyper-literal direct and fact-based communications preference fundamental to and inseparable from their Neurodevelopmental biology”.