Insurance companies are not there for your health and wellness. They care about the almighty dollar. They can say anything they want when they make their own rules.
My advice would be:
Stop taking telephone calls. Communicate only in writing. Point out your mental illness and their harassing/bullying/contradictory behaviour as a factor. This took stress off me and I was able to process information instead of being put on the spot. Don’t panic when every communication has the tagline of “if such and such is not completed we have the right to terminate benefits” It is a standard form letter phrase.
Stop being the middleperson and request direct contact with your medical professionals because of your mental illness. I would get a report request for my doctor a day after my regularly scheduled appointment and it would be expected back within a week. I would stress and panic over getting into town, dropping off the form, picking it up and sending it. It was a game they played. They cut down on their requests once they had to deal directly with the doctor.
Stay compliant. Although I had a difficult time adjusting to meds, I tried whatever I could on my doctor’s advice. This added to my conditions worsening as we could not control symptoms or symptoms added to the mental health deterioration.
Although I did attempt one return to work plan with a variety of treatments through the insurer, it was against my doctor’s advice and I didn’t end up completing it. I had a meltdown and did not return. She veto’d it every time after that, preferring I receive treatment from a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist before physical/occupational therapy and whatever other bs they offered.
Go to regular medical professional appointments. I was on a provincial waitlist for over a year but ended up paying out of pocket for therapy. Psychiatrists are free here in NB so I did manage after a few months after a referral from my family doctor. I still saw my family doctor on a regular basis during the time I was waiting for other treatment.
Request your disability insurance file. My file held A LOT of information I was not aware of (like revealing private details of my illness in communication with my employer, the internal request for DNA testing that most likely did not make it past their legal department in my case, ignoring of medical professionals, confirmation they did not get me the care I needed right away but waited 7 months into my claim to start and all sorts of other things)
Ensure your medical professionals are supporting you. It took so many letters from my family doctor to the insurance company I thought she would drop me as a patient. She had my back. Same for the psychiatrists and psychologist I saw outside of the insurance company. Ultimately, the therapists and IME professional reported I was worse off because of the insurance company and my employer firing me. The IME was never mentioned when my benefits were terminated “for appearing happy at a doctor’s appointment 5 months prior”
Your insurance company notified your employer you couldn’t return? That could be in your favour moving forward (i.e. if you are in customer service and have a mental health condition, crowds, telephone ringing, dealing with irate customers, dealing with people in general, concentration completing forms or transactions, memory loss, insomnia/hypersomnia, fatigue, irritability, nausea from meds - it could impede you from doing any job)
I took advice from forum members and managed my way through the insurance company’s game. It was tough, but you have supporting medical professionals so it’s a great start!